Illuminating Humankindness

Self-Soothing in the Modern World

Wed, 23 Sep 2026 03:32:45 GMT

Why do we learn to self-soothe?

The three-year-old me utilized a blanket for comfort

When I was three years old, I awoke with a start to find my security blanket of warm fuzzy, slightly discolored gray cotton, with the dark silk ribbon edge to stroke against my cheek, attacked and overtaken by a lot of red yarn, which utterly confused my sweet little self.

It scared me to find that my source of comfort and joy was tampered with. My self-soothing strategy had been compromised. Perhaps I needed to find a new one to feel safe. As I gathered myself, many important unanswered questions plagued me.

Was this red and gray monstrosity my blanket?

Who had done this, and why was it in my bed?

The red thread startled me, especially since I had not been included in the decision to make the unrequested cosmetic changes that had miraculously appeared. Little Michelle decided this was the misguided work of either angels or elves who wanted to play with me and get my attention.

I found that thought slightly comforting and possibly true until my dad and sister proudly arrived to announce they had mended the old blanket with red thread and felt gravely disappointed I did not appreciate their perceived upgrade.

Once they saw the red thread on the floor, they left my room in exasperation. By changing something precious to me without my prior consent, I protected my self-soothing tool and automatically constructed strong boundaries around it.

The four-year-old me utilized sucking my thumb for comfort

Fast forward to when I was four and traveling with my gramma and family when that same blanket was conveniently left behind at a motel in a well-intentioned plot by my mom and gramma to wean me of that RATTY OLD shield. But I had a replacement already in tow that could not be left behind at the motel, the thumb on my right hand. So, I began comforting myself by sucking my thumb. Thank goodness for that thumb, for it calmed me down in a highly trauma laden household. This did the trick until I began school.

From then until now, I have been experimenting with and learning healthy and not-so-healthy ways of managing anxiety, sadness, anger, and a deep sense of alienation that can arise while living life.

What is Self-Soothing?

Self-soothing is a coping strategy that involves engaging in activities or behaviors to bring about a sense of comfort and calm when feeling upset, stressed, or otherwise emotionally dysregulated. It’s a way to self-regulate and restore a sense of balance. Research suggests that self-soothing supports both adults and infants by helping to lower physiological stress markers like cortisol, slow the heart rate, and shift the nervous system from fight-or-flight into a calm, parasympathetic state of relief.

Why do we learn to self-soothe?

Perhaps you had a cuddly teddy bear, doll, or stuffed animal that comforted you. Perhaps today, as an adult, it is sitting in the park breathing the air or taking a warm and unhurried bath. Self-soothing is an essential life skill that, once learned in infancy, serves us the rest of our lives. It is the ability to calm ourselves and emotionally regulate independently when stressed out, and it provides a sense of relief and control. Self-soothing tunes up our emotional and physical bodies.

It begins early in life with attunement, the state of being in harmony, alignment, or deep emotional resonance with another person or your environment. In the early months of life, a caring parent’s attunement helps a newborn feel safe enough to rest and sleep. Over time, babies develop the ability and the neural net to begin soothing themselves.

As we grow, self-soothing empowers us to manage our emotions and feel comfortable enough to fall asleep and stay asleep. It also helps us develop independence and emotional regulation during waking hours.

Self-soothing is a basic life skill and one that can determine the quality of our adult life. This life skill prevents the accumulation of chronic stress, which, if unchecked over time, damages our body, mind, heart, and soul.

The adult in me utilizes...

Adult self-soothing can range from breathing deeply to forest bathing or self-medicating. I smoked cigarettes until I was 28 to manage the stress. That ended when I had pneumonia and found that option no longer appealing. Again, I was forced to choose a new way to calm myself down from the wide spectrum of options available to adults. Some are healthy and others are damaging. The trick is to know ourselves well enough to proactively and intentionally engage in the healthy actions that bring the comfort and calm.

And the modern world gives us plenty to soothe! Our phones never stop buzzing, deadlines stack up, the news cycle spins, and many of us carry the stress of others along with our own.

Whether you are an Emerging Leader finding your footing in a new career, an Educator holding space for a classroom full of restless young minds, or a Lifelong Learner stepping into a new season of life, knowing how to calm yourself is not a luxury. It is a leadership skill. And when we practice it, we model it for everyone watching us, especially the young people in our lives.

Ask yourself, how do I soothe and calm myself during stressful times today?
Do I employ smoking, yoga, video games, dancing, endless scrolling, alcohol, or incessant activity to soothe today?
What are your preferred techniques?

Intentionally create your own self-soothing toolkit.

Creating an individualized self-soothing toolkit is an essential first step in generating a quality of life that uplifts and nourishes you.

Self-soothing is a natural human tendency to manage emotions and reduce distress, and your toolkit can include various activities, from listening to music to aromatherapy. Practicing self-soothing techniques builds resilience and improves overall coping abilities. Self-soothing helps restore a sense of equilibrium after experiencing stressful or traumatic events. It allows you to weather the bumps in life, regain your balance, and create a life that honors and delights you, even when things go awry.

How do I start to create my own self-soothing, cognitive replenishment toolkit?

In chapter seven of my book Kindling the Flame: The Art and Science of Cognitive Replenishment, I provide 18 simple, low-impact self-soothers to try, ranging from music to laughter. This list is meant to stimulate your inner wisdom about what will calm down your nervous system and regain equilibrium in this world of chaos and confusion.

Here are a few to get you started:

Breath: Take three slow, deep breaths before your next meeting, class, or conversation.
Music: Play a song that lifts your spirits, and let yourself sing along.
Laughter: Call the friend who always makes you giggle, or watch something delightfully silly.
Fresh air: Take an unhurried walk, bathe in the forest air, or simply sit in the park.
Warm water: Enjoy a slow bath with no clock-watching allowed.

As of today, I intentionally schedule time to walk, savor the forest air, garden, read historical fiction, take baths, exercise, play games with friends, and stop to smell the roses, both literally and figuratively. One of my favorite soothers these days is a scoop of chocolate ice cream for dessert each evening with a dollop of whipped cream. This type of intentional replenishment not only brings joy to my heart, but it has also become an essential life skill, keeping my spirit buoyant in this age of change and extreme innovation.

Self-Soothing and Kindhearted Power

At Illuminating Humankindness, we believe self-soothing is where Kindhearted Power begins. It is hard to show up with trustworthiness, respect, and care for others when our own nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight. When we tend to ourselves first, we have so much more to give to our families, our classrooms, our teams, and our communities.

Whether you call it attunement, self-soothing, or cognitive replenishment, make the intentional choice to learn and practice these skills. Add them to your calendar. This action is a solid first step in creating a quality of life that can deeply satisfy and sustain you, especially in times of uncertainty and stress.

Your Free Self-Soothing Starter Toolkit

Ready to begin? Download our free Self-Soothing Starter Toolkit , a simple guide to help you discover what calms and replenishes you. Build your personal self-soothing list and put it on your calendar!

Want to learn more? Read Kindling the Flame.

Explore learn more in Kindling the Flame, where you will learn to intentionally nourish your mind, ignite your positive imagination, and set healthy boundaries. It is a simple set of tools that mentally recharge your life. Learn to intentionally kindle your flame, contributing to a healthier, more focused mind.

You can purchase a limited edition signed copy of Kindling the Flame on our website.

Kindle or paperback editions of Kindling the Flame are available on Amazon.com

Then share one of your favorite soothers with a friend. Your idea might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

Sparkle ON!

Michelle Sherman

Executive Director · Cultivator of Luminaries

Illuminating Humankindness · kindheartedpower.org

Lessons from a Paradigm Shift

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 23:42:24 GMT

Learn to be Kind to Yourself First

“Paradigm shifting is a multimodal process. Revealing ultra-sensory experiences…empowers participants to engage the senses and unique strengths for this good work in a supportive, collective fashion.”

— Paula Intravia, Radical Creativity Educator

As I awoke, I remembered it was finally happening!

On July 12, 2026, we presented our first, in-person masterclass, sharing four simple steps that embolden a positive paradigm shift in human consciousness. And with the personal objective of expediting the illumination of humankind, this day brought us a bit closer to living in that world.

By “we,” I mean Michelle, a Cultivator of Luminaries in tandem with a gifted team of Thought Leaders, IHK Leadership Mentees, Technical Wizards, and deeply curious guests. Each advancing the bold mission to expedite the illumination of humankind through the magic of Kindhearted Power, Imagination, and Wonder.

I awoke this day full of joy, pride, and hopefulness, only to discover my wallet was missing from my purse and nowhere to be found throughout my house full of out-of-town guests supporting the class. What a bummer, for this drew my attention away from both the joy of executing with the team on months of planning geared to deliver a powerful, insightful, and uplifting experience. But it was Sunday, and if my wallet were misplaced or found by the wrong person, much financial damage could be done.

In my role as Executive Director, Creative Director, and Cultivator of Luminaries at IHK, I lead by example and practice what I teach if we are to succeed. As is often the case, practicing what you preach necessitates choosing to make a huge paradigm shift within your mind and heart to keep your word and commitments for the day.

On this Sunday morning at 7am surrounded by beloved collaborators, I realized I must let go of looking for my wallet, since the bank was unavailable online due to a computer upgrade. The kind and understanding customer service representative on the phone could only cancel instead of pause the two credit cards that were in that wallet. I needed to focus on delivering my best for the attendees, team, fellow luminaries, and donors. Some days I feel blessed, others cursed for having integrity.

This day was more than a class on the skills currently required to evolve as individuals and species; it was our opportunity to see if this process worked to guide lifelong learners seeking comfort and sanity in a time of tumultuous change. I was there to both example and anchor wisdom and felt worried and scattered having misplaced my financial hub. Something needed to change. What a terrific opportunity to be a paradigm shifter! I didn’t feel that way at the time.

For those of you new to this approach, allow me to explain.

At IHK we spark the imagination, kindhearted power, and wonder that promotes your/our human flourishing. The How to Create a Paradigm Shift virtual primer and masterclass do just that. Simply, gently, joyfully.

Why is that so difficult for us to believe?

We each view the world through a lens called our paradigm.

We often inherit our paradigm, often employing more painful methods, so this approach may be difficult for some of you to believe as valid or worthwhile. That is OK; it still might work for you. As I share in my enlightened leadership work, being skeptical is good; being cynical is a protection preventing you from finding that which you seek. A completely and understandably human trait. We can each do better. And leading a team of brilliant, gifted humans that Sunday morning forced me to choose how I saw the loss of my wallet. I had a choice: grumble, garner sympathy, and feel off all day, or employ the four steps to let it go until I could do more on Monday morning at the bank.

I decided to “Let It Go...” To decide that the wallet was misplaced, not lost, and the two-card cancellation was enough. Teaching others how to Create a Paradigm Shift that expedites the illumination of humankind in a gentle and sustainable manner is important. I was going to enjoy the day and all the wonderful humans gathered to teach and exemplify an intentional way of living that promotes personal and collective flourishing. The anger, violence, and self-righteous indignation that once motivated me no longer serve as they once did.

I decided to take the kind road that day. I needed to be kind to myself and combat the bully within. Much easier said than done. It requires practice. Taking the kind road is a big, yet crucial, decision each of us has to make for ourselves in this portion of the free will universe. This choice constitutes a huge paradigm shift with significant impact on the quality of our lives, yet it is invisible to the eye.

I chose to be a Paradigm Shifter and release the worries associated with misplacing my wallet and rejoined the team in attendance and prepared for a terrific event with all. The car was being packed, the last-minute logistical texts were received, and I felt blessed to be part of this remarkable community of contribution to the betterment of humanity. A silly wallet would not come between me and my full contribution and enjoyment of the day and this remarkable gathering.

As one of our masterclass attendees wrote, ” The masterclass really helped me to understand that you don’t need a lot of people to make change happen. You just need people who are passionate!”

I intentionally rekindled my passion and redirected my focus, deciding all was well and would work out. As my reward, I checked one more spot in the house before leaving for the class…and there I found it…the wallet had fallen from the desk into the paper recycling bin beneath, hidden by a tissue. I left the house with a smile, our team, my wallet, and an opportunity to share the magic of the day as a Paradigm Shifter.

More to follow. Join us!

For those who could not attend the masterclass in person, we have a recorded How to Create a Paradigm Shift W ebinar in our treasury of light available for a donation that supports our work or included for our subscribers as part of our membership plans.

Imagination Encircled our Masterclass

Fri, 17 Jul 2026 20:02:21 GMT

Imagination is more important than knowledge

Albert Einstein once said;

"Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

From the Illuminating Humankindness vantage point, that quote invites us to embrace our edgiest positive imagination to reveal a paradigm that naturally inspires our best efforts and outcomes. I certainly would enjoy more of that!

Well, that is exactly what a bold and brilliant group of sparkly souls did on July 12 at the How to Create a Paradigm Shift Masterclass.

Together, we explored the four steps required to navigate an upward trend in humanity's focus at this time of great confusion and discomfort. Our Masterclass, guided by Michelle Purnell-Hepburn, Paula Intravaia, Briana Blythe, and me, was welcomed with a level of relief, joy, and enthusiasm that sweetened the day and our post-program picnic.

What Our Attendees Had To Say

"Wow, it was wonderful. We really enjoyed ourselves, and the seminar was truly worthwhile. You created something amazingly beneficial, and I was so happy to be part of it." — MEJ

"You had incredible enthusiasm, something which strongly added to the spontaneity, making each moment very present tense." — PH

"The Masterclass helped me understand that you do not need a lot of people to make change happen. You just need people who are passionate." — SC

"Everyone was very sweet and eager to learn how to uplift themselves and others. It was just really lovely to be in a room of like-minded people! I had some great conversations and just really felt authentic and supported." — NH

“All the facilitators were incredibly knowledgeable and genuinely passionate about their topics. The entire environment was welcoming, supportive, and inclusive.” - HN

On a scale of 1–10? "Ten! Expectations were clearly communicated before class, making it a safe, fun, and familiar place. All very high-quality speakers — truly masters in their craft." — SB

I want to acknowledge our brave and bodacious team of Thought Leaders, Luminary Guides, Volunteers, Tech Wizards, Leadership Mentees, Donors, and Subscribers who made this event possible.

They each know that Illuminating Humankindness is a courageous way of life that positively impacts all who practice it, witness it, or benefit from it.

Imagine that. Einstein would be proud.

And here is how you become part of that imagination in motion: Volunteer , Subscribe , or Donate to support this important work. And if you are ready to go deeper right now, our Treasury of Light is open whenever you want to remember how amazing we are and how, together, we mend the world.

More escapades to follow…

The Power of Positive Imagination

Fri, 19 Jun 2026 21:00:16 GMT

Nocebo Here

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” – Albert Einstein.

What Is Imagination?

Most of us take imagination for granted. It can seem innate and natural rather than something we need to cultivate and nurture. We all possess imagination. It’s in what we focus on, what we think about, what we want. Its quality depends on whether we fixate on negativity or on the positive, namely, on things that nourish and delight us. The health impact of relentless negativity is called the Nocebo effect . It is when your anticipation of a negative outcome increases the likelihood of that outcome.

Either way, imagination precedes creation. If we want better outcomes in our lives and in the world, it requires practice, intention, and focus. This is why it is essential that you develop a positive imagination to counterbalance the inherent, fear-based tilt.

Our positive imagination encourages us to conjure viable solutions to life’s most difficult problems. Positive Imagination alleviates struggle and can foster joyful collaboration with others. Leaders who harness the power of positive imagination within their teams can elicit the best in people and improve outcomes. Consider positive imagination the secret key to improving not just your own life, but the lives of those around you.

The Power of Positive Imagination

Positive imagination results from combining optimism and critical thinking. That combo elicits masterful insights into situations that previously seemed insurmountable. For positive imagination to flourish, the humans involved need to feel respected, heard, safe, and valued. That allows the most modern components of their brain to do the work.

Our imagination impacts our everyday lives. Everything that happens in our imagination is also experienced in our bodies. The “emotional tone” of our imaginations affects our health and well-being in very tangible ways. If you find yourself constantly imagining visions of doom and gloom, you could induce a chronic stress reaction and erode your heart, kidney, and brain health. If you imagine joyful things, however, that’s when you thrive, even enjoying the positive health impacts in the process.

I invite you to explore these ideas further in “Kindling the Flame,” a primer on imagination that offers techniques for where to pay attention to improve resilience and promote sustained, positive outcomes. The book shares four specific areas of focus to harness the power of your positive imagination:

Intentionally nourishing your mind
Igniting a positive imagination
Taking command of where you focus your attention
Setting healthier device and cognitive boundaries

So what’s behind these four concepts, according to “Kindling the Flame”
When you nourish your mind, it promotes the flow of brain chemicals that balance and stabilize your overall harmony, a state known as coherence. A coherence revealed through positive imagination “flaunts itself in our day-to-day world by sharing ideas that inspire brilliant solutions.” A positive imagination allows you to “become a trendsetter, formulating unique solutions with those around you. Your positive imagination provides the mental placeholder for a brighter future until that future can occur.” Those are powerful tools, and you can read even more about them in the book.

But there’s still more in your imagination toolkit. When you take command of where you focus your attention and set healthier boundaries, you help avoid “cognitive exhaustion,” which can wear you down and lead to negativity. Conversely, “cognitive replenishment” is your ticket to original thinking, wherein “you can engage with life in a manner that honors, nourishes, and supports your best interests.”

A Word on the Nocebo Effect

It isn’t just cognitive exhaustion we must combat. We should also avoid the nocebo effect.

This is a product of psychological or psychosomatic factors like negative expectations of treatment or prognosis. Instead of a positive placebo effect, it’s an adverse nocebo effect. You are effectively defeating yourself before you’ve even had a chance to succeed.

When we expect the worst, we often create it—and we can negatively impact our health in the process. But you won’t hear this term in most mainstream contexts. Medical institutions and pharmaceutical companies often ignore it in favor of lists of adverse drug side effects.

The nocebo effect is a powerful demonstration of the ramifications of neglecting our positive imagination. It isn’t just a lack of positive thinking; in its worst iterations, it can lead to a proliferation of negative thinking that harms our health and well-being.

Why Kindhearted Power Works

Fri, 15 May 2026 21:31:11 GMT

Kindhearted power is built upon three simple truths

"If we are willing to improve the world we inhabit courageously, then, like a load of wash that comes clean when an improved rinse agent is offered, we will halt the weary, frightened cycles of domination imposed upon our heartfelt sovereignty.”

- MS.

Our new approach to solving life's riddles is kindhearted power; a type of power we learn in grade school that can work, if the bullies demand attention, doesn't distract us from our quest for peace, harmony, and community to abound lovingly.

Kindhearted power is built upon three simple truths that nourish the soul:

Act in a trustworthy manner toward all others to enrich my relationships and world.
Seek mutual benefit in all interactions as infinitely worthy and profitable.
Treat everyone with respect and dignity accorded to all living creatures, as sacred, with excellent self-awareness and self-care boundaries!!!

Kindhearted Power is our joy to teach and embody at Illuminating Humankindness.

Let us know how you see these treasures working in your life design.

Why Imagine Humankindness Prevails?

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 22:16:12 GMT

If you begin to look for the good in people and in your life, it will be noticed and amplified.

Imagine
Imagine Humankindness
Imagine Humankindness Prevails

At IHK, when we speak of kindness, we speak of friendliness, generosity, consideration, and compassion.

We are programmed to pay less attention to the good throughout our day. Our brains catch the drama, the crisis, the sniff of menace. We remember the moments of discomfort and unrest, and sometimes to our own detriment.

When you stop to breathe and reflect, there were 100 nice things people did around you today to make your life and world flow.

Real Life Examples:

Merge friendly BMW on the Interstate. Thank you!

Crossing guard at a local school, holding back traffic for both students and neighbors. Thank you!
The post-game moment when the kids all give a sign and move on to congratulate their friends on the winning team. Thank you!
The neighbor who picked up your amazingly interesting package from porch pirates while you were on a camping trip. Thank you!
The postal worker who recognized it was your P.O. box and kept your keys aside until you nervously came back to retrieve them. Thank you!
The local merchant who anonymously donates ice cream to our NPO luncheon. A neighbor shoveling our walk on an icy day. Thank you!
A smile from the lady at the clothing store when nothing fit that day. Thank you!

…And many more, once I begin to make note of them.

You get what I am saying.

If you begin to look for the good in people and in your life, it will be noticed and amplified.

Begin to witness the kindness pulsing throughout your day, happening around you. Feel the soul-nourishing appeal of seeing yourself as a precious and interwoven part of a lovable, imperfect human family; it's your choice.

Imagine
Imagine Humankindness
Imagine Humankindness Prevails

A Road Map for Adulting in Today’s Complex World

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 19:53:17 GMT

Adulting with Confidence

A Road Map for Adulting in Today’s Complex World

When I was younger, I wished I had a road map for my life. Suddenly, after graduating from school, the world saw me as an adult and expected me to know exactly what to do, but I barely had my feet under me.

Today’s young adults face an even more complex and challenging landscape that can feel overwhelming, even as they strive for personal growth and career success. At Illuminating Humankindness, we believe that no one should feel lost on this journey. That’s why we’ve created the Adulting with Confidence Program —a transformative guide to purposeful living.

Why Adulting Feels Hard—And How to Change It

Adulthood can feel like a maze of responsibilities, emotions, and decisions. What’s missing for many is a roadmap with a proven life strategy set that builds clarity, resilience, healthy relationships, and joy.

At Illuminating Humankindness, we empower individuals to build a toolkit by fostering Kindhearted Power, Imagination, and Wonder. These are not abstract concepts but actionable skills designed to create a life of purpose and possibility.

The Adulting with Confidence Program equips participants with tools like cognitive replenishment, positive imagination, self-wisdom, emotionally intelligent leadership, and conflict resolution. With over 36 years of proven strategies combined with ancient wisdom, we provide a modern road map for thriving in today’s world.

“Adulting with Confidence emphasizes empowerment and optimism, creating a safe space for individuals to navigate the complexities of being an adult in the world.” - Nina H., Adulting with Confidence program attendee.

Self-Wisdom for Living an Authentic Life

What is the alchemy of Self-Wisdom?

Self-wisdom allows you to understand how to flourish in the world. We all have the potential to do incredible things, but it takes self-wisdom to unlock that potential within ourselves.

This means exploring areas of personal strength and areas where we have a growth edge. This balance of strengths and areas of growth opens pathways to develop emotional, physical, and cognitive proficiencies that create a blueprint for a joyful life.

All of this contributes to living an authentic life. What does an authentic life mean to you? For some, this might be a distant ideal, but true strength comes from embracing our authentic selves to enhance our quality of life.

This is not always an easy journey. One of our goals at Illuminating Humankindness is to provide a supportive environment where participants can become comfortable with their most authentic selves. To that end, we impart cognitive replenishment and positive imagination skills, which create dazzling outcomes in our daily lives.

“In the short time I have been a part of the IHK Mentoring Program, I have found a way to look into my future and see more available than I could have dreamed of.” - Dan T., Adulting with Confidence program attendee.

Building Healthy Relationships with Emotional Ease

Healthy adult relationships require emotional intelligence and ease. However, this can often be easier said than done. With the outside world bearing down on us with all its stressors and demands, we can lose track of our emotional needs, and when they are not met, our relationships are harmed.

That’s why we help people find emotional ease in their lives. This means an emotionally rich vocabulary, clarity, balance, and self-appreciation. A healthy emotional life enables closeness with others and facilitates non-violent conflict resolution.

This isn’t a skill that enriches just your life. These skills carry over to all your interpersonal relationships, whether that’s a partner, a friend, a boss, or anyone else. Healthy relationships require authenticity and healthy boundaries, but many struggle to establish those things when other adult responsibilities weigh on them.

One size does not fit all when it comes to emotional ease. Everyone has their unique value system, priorities, and preferences that come into play as they build healthy relationships. We impart the relevant skills that empower every learner to navigate those relationships and emotions on their own, as well as with the support of their cohort.

“One major thing we worked on together was personal discernment, which is how to tell what people and choices genuinely align with my life and purpose. It has changed how I connect with myself and the world.” - Julia T., Adulting with Confidence program attendee.

Embodying New Leadership Skills

Armed with new tools and a robust road map, our learners embody fresh leadership skills. Our adult lives often demand these skills, whether we feel ready to employ them. It can be a daunting challenge for many. Still, the empowerment that comes from mastering emotional intelligence, self-wisdom, positive imagination, and the matrix of skills we teach helps ease the bumps on the road of life.

Authentic leadership isn’t loud and bombastic. It doesn’t need to scream its might from the rooftops. Authentic leadership encompasses compassion, awe, creativity, collaboration, perspective, and synergy.

And this doesn’t just apply at work. Leadership may come into play even when navigating adult interactions with friends and family. With us, you learn to unveil your skills with wonder and wisdom as you celebrate your personal power and mastery of the self.

“I have gained a new perspective on WHY I am doing what I am doing. Michelle has reshaped my perspective on the job hunt, allowing me to refresh my search and begin anew.” - Leo M., Adulting with Confidence program attendee.

Beyond Adulting - A Life of Confidence and Flourishing

At Illuminating Humankindness, we believe adulting is about creating a life of meaning, fulfillment, and connection. The Adulting with Confidence Program provides ongoing support through monthly workshops, peer mentoring opportunities, and a vibrant community of learners. Participants gain lasting skills in resilience, problem-solving, emotional literacy, and practical optimism—creating a solid foundation for navigating life’s ups and downs.

Those who graduate from Adulting with Confidence can attend monthly briefings and workshops on topics of interest and even train as peer mentors in future programs. Those who wish can repeat the program to deepen their adulting skills.

Our goal is to equip you with sustainable capability in resourcefulness, wellness, resilience, confidence, self-acceptance, problem-solving, authenticity, positive imagination, practical optimism, emotional literacy, and more. We want you to feel confident in navigating life's challenges as your authentic self.

Too often, we feel we need to tackle life’s challenges alone. But you may be surprised to learn how possible your best life becomes when you approach it with a supportive community around you, as well as develop new skills built for our challenging, modern world.

“I have good and bad days, but thanks to this mentoring program, l can now realize the simple power of investing in myself and my future.” - Kelsey O., Adulting with Confidence program attendee.

Take the Next Step in Your Journey

Adulting doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. You can unlock the dazzling outcomes you deserve with the right tools, a supportive community, and a clear road map.

Ready to embrace your full potential? To get started, you can learn more about the Adulting with Confidence Program or Contact Us .

Let’s illuminate your path to a purposeful, confident, and fulfilling life together.

What is mine to do?

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 21:10:36 GMT

What is mine to do?

That is the question of a lifetime and one I often torment myself with.

During these unprecedented times of transition and uncertainty, we need a positive guiding light more than ever. As we navigate a turbulent world, we seek the inner strength to make room for remembering what we want for ourselves and our loved ones. At Illuminating Humankindness, we help clarify what is yours to do at a time when life can feel like it’s throwing too much at you!

For me, cultivating luminaries is what is mine to do. But everyone’s answer will be different! Our mission at Illuminating Humankindness is to impart a unique type of intentional life design and presence by mentoring those who choose to command the quality of their life. We do this by teaching uplifting, problem-solving, imaginative strategies and perspectives that solidify into your personal north star.

We are a community of people who appreciate strategies that nourish, honor, and delight. We appreciate and serve young adults (18-35) and lifelong learning communities through our Adulting with Confidence, Encouragement Labs, and Treasury of Light courses.

We employ Imagination, Kindhearted Power, and Wonder as life and leadership strategies that promote well-being, resilience, and flourishing. How you accomplish your goals is just as important as achieving them.

Let me explain a bit more about our three chosen skill sets.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” – Albert Einstein

Imagination. Positive imagination, to be exact!

Positive imagination is a mental muscle one must develop. It taps into our ability to conjure solutions, innovate effectively, be comfortable with ourselves, and cooperate with others simultaneously. The talent to solve entrenched, complex problems requires a special type of leader who brings out the best in people and teams. Imagination is a key asset in the quest for improving your life and creating dazzling outcomes for any community of participants.

Learn how to develop your positive imagination with our Imagination as Your Next Superpower Video Workshop or our Kindling the Flame Book .

Kindhearted power is a refreshing approach to accomplishing great things in concert with others. It is the cousin to VAST Conscious Commerce and shares the same set of agreements.

Acting in a trustworthy manner.
Treating everyone with respect despite personal feelings and in accordance with healthy boundaries.
Seeking a mutual benefit in all transactions. If there is no mutual benefit, you walk away.

With these three pillars, you create solid, trustworthy networks infused with synergy. You experience miraculous results that ordinary approaches lack, as others root for your success. Those who know they are powerful do not need to abuse or flaunt it. Their world is sweeter and solutions more profound when choices are considered, exampled, and enacted.

Wonder is an intellectual nourishment and a positive pivot point.

Have you ever stared at the stars and felt part of something bigger?

This is just one example of awe and wonder.

Psychologist Dachau Keltner began to study awe and wonder in 2003 at Berkeley University. The science of wonder is an excellent study for those seeking connection through universal and optimistic experiences with other people.

Awe is a perceived sense of VASTNESS, being part of something greater than oneself.

It shifts our worldview, for when experiencing awe, we are forced to accommodate new information. At Illuminating Humankindness, we focus on wonder, which is awe minus any fear.

Illuminating Humankindness imparts wonder-inspiring strategies that promote ease, boost confidence, build healthy relationships, and calm the nervous system, allowing authenticity.

Keltner’s groundbreaking work reveals how wonder is a shortcut to improving your daily life. His research found that wonder improves comfort with the self and generosity, increases perceived available time, enhances feelings of connectedness, improves critical thinking, increases skepticism (discernment), increases positive mood, and decreases materialism.

What a profound package of outcomes and a clarifying roadmap to clearly understand what is mine to do!

Plus, wonder allows for the enjoyment of life, as explained in Kindling the Flame .

The trick is not only to do what is mine but to do it with joy and ease, something the world refuses to encourage. As such, it falls to each of us to claim that joy and ease for ourselves.

Sonia Lyubomirsky of U.S.C. deems happiness the experience of ”joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” Her research team discovered that acts of kindness toward others improved people’s physical health and productivity.

Whatever your stance, the message is clear: We must relearn how to create and enjoy our lives. This may require a paradigm shift as we imagine the new level of thinking we yearn for.

Join us today to learn about and support Illuminating Humankindness and its toolkits to achieve nourishing and dazzling outcomes. Learn to clarify and pursue what is yours to do with joy and ease.

What is yours to do? Contact Us to learn more about our Adulting with Confidence or Encouragement Lab Programs, and check out our Treasury of Light Coursework .

You are already magnificent; you just forgot

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 16:41:56 GMT

March magnificence is upon us

March magnificence is upon us.

The scent of Spring is here, and we are stirred to awaken the beauty and vitality within and around us.

Do you remember the sweetest smells of cedar and sage wafting through the wind as bud and blossoms flowers blast our eyes with color throughout the bleak winter? Those magnificent scents, sights, and sounds are imminent.

At Illuminating Humankindness (IHK), we are working diligently to hold up the mirror of magnificence in our community, especially our current Adulting with Confidence Program mentees. Seven young adults, ages 23-35, are currently engaged in co-creating our mentoring programs on how to flourish individually and in collectives. Each Mentee is learning the skills of imagination, kindhearted power, and wonder to fully own their inherent magnificence and thrive.

These wonderful adults are gifted, courageous, loving, and ingenious, yet unsure of how to navigate this harsh, exploitative, confusing landscape. At IHK, we offer those who welcome it an alternative strategy of imagination, kindhearted power, and wonder to craft a quality of life beyond their imagination.

Together, we identify and complete a life skills toolkit to encourage and reclaim their confidence in imagining and creating a better future.

Here is what one of our mentees said:

“I am a 29-year-old Seattleite ready to realize their full potential. I have received Michelle’s mentorship services over the course of several weeks for 18 hours, and I credit much of my recent successes to her empowering and kindhearted guidance.

I am a creative professional very early in my career, and I often find it hard to find inspiration or motivation to further my business goals. Like many of us, I have been my worst enemy and constructed an elaborate and unkind internal dialogue for my entire life. My incredibly negative self-perception has been holding me back for many years, and Michelle has provided me with several tools to help dismantle my negative self-talk.

Michelle’s years of experience are evident in how she approaches me without judgment and with unbound warmth. She sees each individual as inherently good and deeply powerful and helps her clients to tap into that power. She is supportive, gentle, and unafraid to call you out on your nonsense.

One of the most impactful things Michelle, or anyone, has ever said to me was: “If you’re not going to invest in yourself, then why should I invest in you?” It was a hard truth that I desperately needed to hear. I have good days and bad days, but thanks to Michelle, I can now realize the simple power that comes from investing in myself and my future.

Thanks to Michelle, even when I have a terrible day, I can look at the habits she has helped me build and see that through the simple action of making my bed, I am investing in my happiness. “– KO Seattle, WA.

What this delightful human being said was simple: through her self-wisdom and Illuminating Humankindness mentoring, she remembered how magnificent she already was.

Bravo, KO, for doing the tough stuff. Now, you can turn your attention to the wonders of Spring as you create and witness March’s magnificence.

Acknowledgments

Speaking of magnificence, I would like to acknowledge the following people this month for their diverse contributions to IHK. We send our ongoing appreciation to:

Charell Williams, thank you for stepping up as an example and creator.
Mary Chapman Cole for her patience and caring input as we formulated our mission.
Nina Hartman for her willingness to lead her life by sharing her optimism and encouraging those she cares about most.
Xoe Eugenia Amer for her perspective and generational guidance.
Our amazing IHK Mentees for their willingness to contribute and inspire as we tap their kindhearted power and co-create a solid path forward.

Join Us

Please join us on this great adventure by connecting on social media and enjoying the uplifting content available from our Treasury of Light .

Consider Donating to expand our Young Adult Mentoring Program (currently serving seven young adults, ages 23-36, through group and 1:1, career, leadership, and interpersonal skills mentoring. Your donation of $250 coaches one young adult for three months by providing program resources.

Learn more about our Adulting with Confidence Programs .

Take command your thoughts and nourish your soul to access your fuller imagination with our webinar; Imagination ─ Your Next Superpower

Listen to our Inspired Podcasts to enjoy and grow.

If you have the time and interest in spreading humankindness or, a skill that can be shared, we would be happy to channel it in the right direction. Volunteer opportunities to enrich our community abound.

If you seek mentoring, have mentoring skills, or have other gifts to share, please let us know via our Contact Page as we build our team of amazing volunteers.

We spark the Kindhearted Power, Imagination, and Wonder that promotes human flourishing.

Join us and change the world.

We appreciate your kind and loving thoughts.

Warm regards,

Michelle Sherman

Illuminating Humankindness

Executive Director

Cultivator of Luminaries

Join Us to brighten the world as we work together to create a paradigm shift.

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 22:58:20 GMT

How do we gently create a shift in awareness and problem-solving in your life and on the planet?

Let us do this joyfully and together. You can make a massive difference by participating in Illuminating Humankindness...We respectfully request a bit of energy to make this a lighter lift.

The world is hurting, unsure, and shying away from the current truth that we are tasked with solving problems differently than in the past.

Remember Einstein’s perspective: " You cannot solve a problem using the same level of thinking that created it!”

The gentlest and most powerful way to heal the world is through uplifting human awareness. Working with those who can imagine better outcomes for ourselves, our families, our communities, and humankind is essential.

Illuminating Humankindness provides individuals and our communities with healthy, resilient skill sets that foster self-confidence and appreciation of others, enabling intentional, innovative, and dazzling outcomes.

We ask you to join us in creating an intentional paradigm shift in human thinking toward more extraordinary kindness, compassion, and enlightened leadership.

Please share a bit of your light with us by supporting our work:

Enjoy classes, videos, and encouraging tidbits from our Treasury of Light.
Join us in How to Create a Paradigm Shift four-part online program designed to uplift, empower, and ignite your potential.
Join our online Curly Girls Guide to Belonging Video Series for perspectives and encouragement.
Follow and engage with us on social media.
Sign up or volunteer to mentor young adults for the Adulting with Confidence Workshops.
Volunteer to support IHK's smooth operations through admin, assistance, or on social media.
Donate to Illuminating Humankindness to turn up the sparkle as we expand our outreach and new coursework for Young Adults, Educators, and Lifelong Learners.

We promise to steward your time, treasure, and talent wisely, with our deepest appreciation.

Join us to uplift yourself and others who see the beauty in the world and each other as we co-create dazzling outcomes.

Power Play Primer for the Well-Intentioned

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 23:12:46 GMT

How to take command of your unique brand of personal power?

When asked how to take command of your unique brand of personal power in my enlightened leadership classes, I begin with a story about my mentor, William Smith, a consultant at The World Bank from 1978 to 1992. Yes, that was before the flood.

As a young executive working in a national retail operation, I was fascinated by how I could improve the substandard and mediocre leadership that I found to be the root cause of significant suffering in the lives of the caring professional adults around me.

During the break, Bill and I discussed the use of transformative organizational development systems, those that empower stockholders, shareholders, and stakeholders alike to thrive and succeed.

Implementing a win-win-win strategy is not a small feat, but it is more likely to occur when a leader takes the time to consider it as both possible and potentially profitable. What if being relaxed and feeling respected enhanced output? This idea fascinated me.

During our talk, he alluded to the current program he was delivering to the World Bank on identifying and leveraging different forms of personal power to build the power grid infrastructure for an underdeveloped South American country. His job was to train diverse project stakeholders to leverage their resources to ensure a satisfactory outcome that addressed as many of their interests as possible.

As a result of our enthusiastic exchange on the best use versus abuse of leadership powers, he agreed to share his work and understanding of how to leverage the type of power you have. It is something leadership clients and professional mentees have heard me impart, for it is an uncomplicated way to amplify your voice and navigate the complex world of power plays.

This is what Bill shared in paraphrased format:

There are three types of Personal Power:

Control,
Influence
Appreciative ( grassroots people power )

Control is when one person controls the resource(s) (i.e., food system, electrical grid, airwaves) and can share, remove, or threaten to remove them at will. If this type of leader is not physically present, their control diminishes, at which point threats and rewards become relevant. Bill and I agreed that the fall of substandard leaders occurred because, when given the opportunity, others let them fail, fall, or flourish.
Influence is when you can rally others to act in accord with your distribution of resources and create pods of problem-solving responders or menacing substandard presence. Often, you do not even see who is pulling the strings to direct the movement. Influencers who have character and are trustworthy far surpass threat-based influencers in the long run.
Appreciative power is when stakeholders across pods unify and stand up to disrupt the systems they are employed to run and grow.

Where do you see your leadership profile land?

With controlling the Universe and everything in it, or trusting your advisors to know more about their expertise than you, who will ultimately have responsibility for the decisions made?

Influencing those around you to join the value system, cause, or culture you or your business has created?

Or, with the Grassroots, community organizing that halts trains from running on time or functioning without the consent of the culture that cultivated them?

Think about what works for you at this time and what does not, and let us know your thoughts on personal power.

The Courage Threshold

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 20:37:57 GMT

What is this thing we call courage?

“You cannot swim to new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -- William Faulkner

We have all heard stories of people who bravely risked or sacrificed their safety to go first, help another, or save a beloved group.

Those who traveled west to stake a claim on their freedom and ability to grow their own crops. Astronauts and warriors who handle dangers both known and unknown that were impossible to imagine.

What is this thing we call courage, and how can we cross the Courage Threshold?

Understanding courage: The dictionary states that courage is “the mental and moral strength to act rightly despite fear, danger, or difficulty, often involving vulnerability and stepping outside your comfort zone for a worthy goal, rather than the absence of fear.” If courage is action in the face of fear and not the absence of it, why risk it?

When you are courageous, you transcend the selfishness and cruelty of your primitive brain and enter the realms of collaboration, mutual enhancement, and synergy. This is explained in greater detail in both our Accomplishing Goals with Ease video class and the How to Create a Paradigm Shift primer on Claiming the Prize, available in our Insight Vault.

Courage is also the ability to listen to one’s heart in service to a higher calling that cares for and protects those who cannot defend themselves. That is referred to as protecting the meek.

Dr. David Hawkins on the importance of Courage. In the groundbreaking work Power versus Force (1995, Veritas Press), he maps, through calibration, human levels of energy and consciousness. It is here that Dr. Hawkins identified the point at which human beings shift from life-depleting, self-serving, and harmful choices to life-affirming, individually and collectively beneficial behaviors and choices.

Where exactly does that shift occur?

At The Courage Threshold or Level 200 in Dr. Hawkins’s maps of consciousness. According to Dr. Hawkins, “Courage is where power first appears. When we test subjects at all energy levels below courage, we find they are weak. Everyone responds strongly to the life-supporting field of Courage. This is the critical line that distinguishes positive and negative influences in life. This is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination. At lower levels, the world is seen as hopeless, sad, frightening, or frustrating; but at the level of Courage, life is seen to be exciting, challenging, and stimulating.” (page 84, Power vs Force, 1995).

The good news is that we spend time there without a second thought when we help, encourage, and see others as part of our human family. Having an honest chat with a difficult family member can make us want to hide under the bed, but we still find the time and place to do our best.

Why is courage the key to our success?

As Einstein said, you cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it. Update that to “You cannot solve a problem at the same level of consciousness that created it.”

The complex solutions required today demand a sense of purpose and innovation driven by courage instead of fear. Finer, more sustainable solutions are built and implemented where courage abounds.

Over the years, I have seen the remarkable courage of friends, family, clients, and mentees, all stepping up daily to confront unfamiliar places bravely and faces as they learn to stand in their authentic presence. That takes enormous courage.

Congratulate yourself and keep it going!

“Don’t give in to your fears; if you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

--Paulo Coelho

Join our monthly Encouragement Labs online series to practice commanding your Courage Threshold in a way that generates a lifestyle that honors, nourishes, and delights you as it uplifts the world. Learn to appreciate yourself and the courage of those around you.

Learn More

Check out our four-part primer on How to Create a Paradigm Shift to go deeper.

Become a Subscribing Member who illuminates humankindness through courage, trustworthiness, imagination, and wonder.

Welcome to Illuminating Humankindness

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 23:47:15 GMT

Welcome to Illuminating Humankindness

Dear Kind-hearted Souls,

I am thrilled to share with you an exciting new venture poised to profoundly impact our world - the launch of Illuminating Humankindness a 501C3, non-profit organization. With over 30 years of experience as an executive mentor, I’m migrating from corporate leadership to embrace the sparkle and goodness in us all—bringing VAST Institute wisdom and fellow original thinkers as we launch our next chapter to spark the Kindhearted Power, Imagination, and Wonder that promotes Human Flourishing. I can confidently say that this endeavor holds immense promise in spreading compassion and positive change in our communities and across the globe.

Our Mission: To spark the Kindhearted Power, Imagination, and Wonder that promotes

Human Flourishing.

"Illuminating Humankindness is dedicated to fostering empathy, compassion, and unity among individuals and communities worldwide. We aim to create a brighter, kinder, and more connected world through innovative programs, heartfelt initiatives, and collaborative efforts."

At the core of our mission is the belief that kindness can transform lives. It is a force that builds bridges, heals wounds, and uplifts spirits. Through innovative programs and initiatives, we seek to unleash the potential of kindness, empowering individuals to become beacons of light in their communities.

Our Initiatives:

Kindness in Action: This program empowers individuals to perform acts of kindness in their communities, creating a ripple effect of positivity. From small gestures to grand initiatives, every act of kindness counts.
Encouragement Labs: Sharing uplifting techniques, wisdom, perspectives, ideas, writings, and music to enhance clarity, build confidence, and nourish the soul.
Adulting with Confidence: A Young Adult’s (16-21) Guide to Balance and Wonder joyfully imparts the competencies of intellectual replenishment, positive imagination, self-wisdom, emotionally intelligent leadership, healthy relationships, and resilience.
Imagination: Enjoy this VAST Institute Cognitive Refreshment webinar with co-host Paula Intravaia of Cloud Club Collective . Learn creativity tips and techniques to help reduce stress and access your fuller imagination.
Curly Girls Guide to Belonging: Joyfully generate enthusiasm about how beautiful we are and how inclusive life can be with the anecdotes, techniques, and encouragement of Michelle Purnell-Hepburn and Michelle Sherman as two Curly Girlfriends who share what they have learned, seen, and solved.
The VAST Institute Treasury of Light : Enjoy and peruse the library of uplifting and confidence-building webinars, podcasts, and skillsets from the VAST Institute vault featuring three decades of leadership, relationship, and problem-solving coaching wisdom. Learn new skills, shift your perspective, and create a better quality of life with VAST online content, enriched coursework, videos, and resources.

How You Can Get Involved:

The success of Illuminating Humankindness relies on the collective efforts of kind-hearted individuals like you. Here's how you can join us in making a difference:

Spread the Word: Share our mission, take our classes with friends and family, and share with your social networks. Let's create a groundswell of kindhearted power, imagination, and wonder!
Volunteer: Contribute your time, skills, and passion to our programs and initiatives. Together, we will amplify our impact.
Donate: Your generous contributions enable us to reach more communities, touching countless lives with encouragement and practical skillsets.
Share Your Story: Inspire others by sharing your experiences of illuminating human kindness. Your story has the potential to ignite a spark in someone else's heart.

As the Executive Director of Illuminating Humankindness, I am committed that our programs provide a curated treasury of ideas, skill sets, and experiences to encourage, balance, animate, and nourish your life and relationships in a way that mends the world.

Visit our website at www.kindheartedpower.org to learn more about getting involved. Let's open our hearts and ignite a wave of change that will illuminate humankind for future generations.

Warm Regards,

Michelle Sherman
Executive Director

Illuminating Humankindness

Self-Soothing in the Modern World

Why do we learn to self-soothe? ﻿

The three-year-old me utilized a blanket for comfort

The four-year-old me utilized sucking my thumb for comfort

What is Self-Soothing?

Why do we learn to self-soothe?

The adult in me utilizes...

Intentionally create your own self-soothing toolkit.

Self-Soothing and Kindhearted Power

Lessons from a Paradigm Shift

Learn to be Kind to Yourself First

Imagination Encircled our Masterclass

Imagination is more important than knowledge

What Our Attendees Had To Say ﻿

The Power of Positive Imagination

Nocebo Here

Why Kindhearted Power Works

Kindhearted power is built upon three simple truths

Why Imagine Humankindness Prevails?

If you begin to look for the good in people and in your life, it will be noticed and amplified.

A Road Map for Adulting in Today’s Complex World

Adulting with Confidence

What is mine to do?

What is mine to do?

You are already magnificent; you just forgot

March magnificence is upon us

Acknowledgments

Join Us

Join Us to brighten the world as we work together to create a paradigm shift.

Power Play Primer for the Well-Intentioned

How to take command of your unique brand of personal power?

The Courage Threshold

What is this thing we call courage?

Welcome to Illuminating Humankindness

Welcome to Illuminating Humankindness

Why do we learn to self-soothe?

What Our Attendees Had To Say